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Dude I totally think that's a good thing katie! haha


and I HATE how into this guy at work I am...like it's this guy who i've liked on and and off for a year. I've talked about him before on here, like about a year ago my friend told me he thinks im cute....and then like i instantly like started blushing and like melted basically haha...and usually when i find out a guy thinks im cute or whatever i get weird about it and totally am like freaked out...but instantly i was flattered and excited hahaha...well nothing happened i started liking someone else for a bit and i didnt see him....and then a few months later my friend nicole brought it up again like i was telling her about my work crushes and he was one of thm and him and her were buddies and he like told her that he thought iw as really really cute and im like FUCKKKKKKK hahaha and i liked him until that one guy i was dating came along and then i got consumed in that and my friend jacque i guess became friends with im and found out that like yeah he likes me and whatever but he had just kind of gotten out of a relationship and he's kind of a sex freak or something haha IDK jacque is a bit...crazy....sooo i only have a vague idea of what he said but i guess like he doesnt want to date me or anything because im basically sexually inexperienced...cause i guess nicole was trying to set it up...IDFK hahaha jacque told me this like on the day i was going out on a date so i never really got a full understanding and she also said that the guy i was dating better not hurt me or he'd kick his ass haha ...but it really sucks because like my crush on him keeps coming back and im SO drawn to him. Like i've only really had one crush that just took forever to die and the only reason it died was because we became like bffs.

beth thinks i should still just try and get his number and hang out with him on my own...but it just sucks. Like i think maybe i like him because i know he like cares about me too? even if he doesnt think a relationship would work?
UGH idk im SO drawn to him

he ALWAYS gets really excited when he sees me at work and says hi and like talks even for a second
boo
sucks haha
and i see him at school ALL the tiem...like seriously if im somewhere random were i usually am not ill run into him on is way to a class or something haha
godddddddddddd adfgadfgafgafgafgadfgag

AFTER I GET BACK FROM FRANCE IM MAKING SOME MOVES TO GET A SUMMER FLING because if i dont kiss a boy soon im going to die haha

hahaha I'm sorry!! I think when I type out little rants like that i don't really even think about other people reading it, it's just ranting/venting journal stuff. I am terrible at using punctuation informally, one of the faults of giving into the texting/aim +!%# I think! I have to be really careful when I'm typing essays for school and like applications and whatnot because if I don't think about it I start to forget how to capitalize and properly punctuate.

I apologize for my lazy typing and don't worry i didn't read that was bitchy at all, i will definitely try and work on making it more readable in the future for your guy's sake :-p

But yeah I definitely need to get over my shyness and just try and figure something out. Like, I know for a fact he likes me like even just as a person but it still is hard to be like hey lets hang out! The other problem that I think like puts me off is he is 7 years older than me so I think it worries me that like he won't just want to like go see a movie or something ya know? IDK I suck at this stuff, i think too much haha